Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Princess Anne.

Hey N,
    I just med a psychotic woman...
         psychotic by her own admission.
Over medicated and senile and splintered and broken in her mind...
while in Hallsberg.
I took the train in the opposite direction than i was headed and ended up sitting in the Hallsberg station for forty minutes waiting to head south towards Göteborg.
 I sat next to her and we talked...I listened mostly.
she spoke non stop. it was exhausting.
i asked her at one point if she was exhausted and she answered:
"Yes, yes i am exhausted. i need a little quiet room to simply be."
she made me think...made me think of a lot of different things...
in a splintered and broken in the mind sort of way.
what a gift.
she made wild assumptions about my parents and family lineage.
at one point she mimicked the voice of her former husband, an abusive misogynist pastor who used his influence over those he cared for in order to seduce them....as he did Anne
....Princess Anne.
As he descended into a fog of alzheimers he divided himself and Anne into a symbolic dichotomy of God and Satan.
Anne played Satan.
Anne became Satan.
her voice as she spoke as her long dead husband...
her eyes...
her crooked finger pointing...
the room filled with his wrath...
then faded back into the simple madness of Anne.
This man had fathered her a son, now thirty, unemployed and immersed in World of Warcraft to the point where reality had no meaning
    "and he thinks I'm crazy."
Anne was also extremely paranoid while fully aware of this...
she was fully aware of much of her madness though aware enough to know that her own madness went much deeper than she knew and deeper than her ability to converse led most people to believe.
"But you understand...you understand that."
and i did.
and so I realized that karma works sideways through time...not on a linear plane.
Sideways through time.
what you are going to do is what you do...it effects what happens to you before you have or haven't done it.
Anne made me think.

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