Monday, January 12, 2009

waking life versus the anti hero

i'm reading Choke by chuck palahniuk..the guy who wrote Fight's far i have really liked his stuff. i read that it is in a genre of it's own...i guess i could see that...the idea of the antihero bothers me on a level other than intellectual...i don't know what it is...maybe reading praise for an antihero on a book jacket seems...i don't depreciate it somehow. here's the thing, the Donald Kaufman side of me...good old car chase sci-fi bob...has a favorite movie that the intellectual snob cringes to hear...Fight Club...fuckin' love it mate...get's me all squirelly the way i like to be...drinking whisky and smashing stuff...gave myself a black eye while working the night shift as a personal assistant to a C4 level spinal injury, that's quadriplegic, patient after watching that movie...i blamed him.
so anti hero...sounds like an interesting construct to work with yet i hear myself...or some part of myself...saying "fuck that". the part of me that an anti hero appeals to actually...i have this haunting notion that middle aged fathers of three living in the lap of luxury who love Fight Club and dream about the end of this house of cards reality that we call society are kind of ...immature, and again i hear a part of me, after taking a long draw of a cigarette that i don't smoke, say "fuck that".
life goes on.

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